you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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