absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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