That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
