If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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