Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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