im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
