It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
jump out the window naked night went bad
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