There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I need to align my fucking chakras
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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