I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
