oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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