If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
