I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
