he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
this just has baby written all over it
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
