he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
