Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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