Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
