WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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