My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
