Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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