well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
