Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
