I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize