I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
nutella sex= disaster
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
