I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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