god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
