you would pick up someone in the library
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
