hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
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