We're like a lot better than the average bears
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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