Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
