You're completely useless in the revolution.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
