office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
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