i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize