I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
