I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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