Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
