I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
