My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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