Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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