their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
