It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
