I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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