my room smells like sperm. sweet.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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