you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
