I wish my penis had an off switch
She said her name was "party"
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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