On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
