Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
