I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
