No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
