Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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