pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i wish my penis had a tongue
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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