I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
ttyl tear gas
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize