no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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