You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
