You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We are two peas in an std pod
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
