Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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