my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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