I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
