I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize