At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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