Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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