you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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