i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
