wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
